00:00:00: Introduction 00:01:21: Defining presence 00:02:39: Presence rules… 00:02:46: …1: no such factor as excellent presence 00:03:24: …2: it is not about pretending 00:04:28: Presence alerts and abilities to study… 00:05:14: …1: what you say and the way you say it 00:09:56: The significance of pausing 00:14:43: Pitch and tempo 00:17:23: Respiration strategies 00:21:23: …2: the way you current your self 00:23:48: Place and posture 00:26:15: Eye contact and seating location 00:29:01: …3: the way to use energy 00:33:19: Remaining ideas
Helen Tupper: Hello, I am Helen. Sarah Ellis: And I am Sarah. Helen Tupper: And that is the Squiggly Careers podcast, the place every week we share concepts for motion and instruments so that you can check out that we hope will assist you to, and it at all times does assist us, navigate your Squiggly Profession with extra confidence, readability and management. And this week, we’re taking up the subject of presence at work. Sarah Ellis: And presence is a type of, I believe, tough phrases, as a result of folks wrestle to outline it and be particular about what beauty like. I really feel like we form of realize it once we see it, nevertheless it’s arduous to interrupt down into one thing that we will develop, and that is completely what we at the moment are going to try to do as we speak. And I do assume it’s significantly irritating in case you obtain suggestions on this space. So, I do not assume I’ve ever had these precise phrases, however I’ve positively talked to individuals who have suggestions, “You could enhance your presence if you wish to progress”, however then with no readability about going, “Nicely, what does that appear to be; how will I do know once I’ve received there; how do I take into consideration what this implies for me?” I really feel prefer it’s typically a type of obscure and summary issues that the majority of us really feel is vital, we form of recognise it is vital, we have most likely labored with or for individuals who we might describe as having presence, nevertheless it nearly falls into that threat of possibly feeling like a character trait, or possibly one thing you both have or you do not have. So, we have learn fairly just a few completely different articles; I’ve learn a extremely good e-book, which is an HBR small, mini e-book, referred to as Management Presence, which is without doubt one of the ones that they’ve of their Emotional Intelligence sequence. And one of many issues that’s actually constant is I’m but to discover a very clear definition of, “That is what we imply by presence”. What most of those articles appear to say is, “There’s not an excellent definition”; nice! However then who does not then assume to write down, “However that is my model”? We have had a go, and I am undecided that is excellent both, however I do not assume which you can say, “It is one thing that we wrestle to outline”, after which not not less than attempt to give it a little bit of a form or a little bit of a way of what’s this factor, presence, that we’re speaking about? So, my greatest try, and also you all listening can see what you assume and let me know in case you’ve received one thing higher, as a result of we will certainly borrow that brilliance from you; however my try is, “Presence is exhibiting up in a approach that has optimistic affect, significantly in high-pressure moments”. What do we expect, Helen; are we onboard with that? Helen Tupper: Nicely, I’m onboard with it, however I’d similar to to select up on the “optimistic affect” level, as a result of I believe you possibly can have presence and it may be unfavorable; however I believe on this podcast, we’re at all times making an attempt to assist folks to be at their greatest at work. So, I believe our framing of presence is, we’re making an attempt that will help you to develop it and reveal it in a optimistic approach. So, I believe that is our angle when it comes to what we’re making an attempt to help you with. There are some presence rules that we additionally assume are vital as you hearken to among the concepts for motion that we have. The primary is that there is not any such factor as excellent presence, there is not any sensible blueprint for this; it’s totally particular person and it is price nearly eager about three folks that you simply assume have gotten this optimistic presence. I used to be at an occasion final evening and if I believe even on the desk that I used to be ultimately evening, if I take into consideration among the folks that I used to be sitting with which have sensible presence, there was a man referred to as Dave McQueen, his spouse, Madeleine, and so they have sensible presence, however in a really completely different approach. And it is nearly eager about possibly what’s comparable concerning the folks which you can see which have presence, and likewise what’s completely different and distinct, as a result of I believe that is a extremely good factor to see, that there is not any one-size-fits-all model of what good presence seems to be like. Precept quantity two is that presence just isn’t about pretending. So, I haven’t got to be David, I haven’t got to be Madeleine McQueen, I’ve to seek out my very own presence, one thing that feels private to me. Actually, that begins out of your strengths, the issues that you simply present up with actually naturally, the issues that make you distinct and completely different, and that is an excellent beginning place while you’re eager about, “What does presence appear to be for me?” Regardless that there is not actually this blueprint, there are some abilities and there are some alerts that may help you with the presence that you’ve at work, and that is actually the place we will concentrate on as we speak. Sarah Ellis: Two fast references for you earlier than we get into the concepts for motion and these abilities and alerts; if you have not listened to Viv Groskop, she was on episode 105 of the podcast, she wrote an excellent e-book, she has an ideal podcast, referred to as Tips on how to Personal the Room, and I believe that is a extremely good place to begin. Viv is sensible to hearken to, in order that’s only a nice episode, but additionally the e-book that she’s written has numerous sensible recommendation and the podcast is nice too. So in case you, after as we speak, wish to dive a bit deeper, that is completely the place I’d go first. So, there are three alerts that we will speak about and inside every of those alerts, there are abilities which might be very learnable and issues that we will apply. So, the three alerts, the way in which we have determined this up is, what you say and the way you say it; the way in which you current your self; and the way you utilize energy. So, I believe that is nearly from every part that we have been studying, watching and listening to, form of immersing ourselves on this world of presence, typically you discover that folks go in one among these instructions however maybe do not join the dots. So, you learn one article and will probably be very a lot about physique language; or, you may learn one other article and will probably be concerning the phrases that you simply say. However I believe what we’re making an attempt to do right here is deliver collectively nearly the complete image of what contributes to you enhancing your presence. So, we broke it down in that approach, so hopefully that feels useful. So, that first sign is, “What you say and the way you say it”. And it is so fascinating; one of many articles that I learn that I cherished, it was most likely my favorite article and I used to be like, “That is nearly a podcast in its personal proper”, was studying a bit about linguistic fashion. So, that is your attribute talking sample, and we are going to hyperlink to this text, as a result of it’s so attention-grabbing why we converse in the way in which that we do and the place that comes from. However in abstract, folks have a mode that tends to be extra both direct or oblique; all people has completely different pacing and pauses; the selection of the phrases that you simply use, and whether or not you utilize issues like jokes, figures of speech, tales, questions, apologies. I believe it is helpful to begin, while you’re eager about what you say and the way you say it, is what’s your pure talking sample in the mean time; what’s your fashion? I used to be asking myself this query as I used to be studying this text and I used to be positively happening this rabbit gap of linguistic types. And truly, we’re not going to speak about it as we speak, however in case you’re , linguistic types between genders is especially attention-grabbing. So, you will get into a complete space spherical there, if you wish to learn it and study a bit extra about that. However I received to describing my very own talking fashion as, “Enthusiastic, smiley, considerate, humorous and questions”, they had been the key phrases if I used to be nearly doing a Google search, or a key phrase search on, “What do I believe describes my talking fashion?” they had been the phrases that I received to. The place would you be, Helen? Helen Tupper: I believe I could be quick, pleasant, I am at all times pleasant and upbeat and open, and enjoyable. Clearly I’ve to have three Fs, as a result of that is simply the way in which that I speak, however yeah, quick, pleasant and enjoyable had been most likely mine. Sarah Ellis: Nicely truly, that is a great level by Helen. One in all Helen’s talking traits can be alliteration, in order that’s one thing that reveals up continuously in the way in which that she communicates, and alliteration can improve our presence, as a result of it helps what we are saying to be memorable and it helps folks to attach with it. So, I believe simply as a place to begin, simply take into consideration along with your talking fashion, what helps your presence, so what’s supplying you with presence; so we’d say about Helen’s alliteration that offers her presence. But additionally what may take it away? I do truly keep in mind as soon as having some suggestions the place, as a result of I am naturally smiley, you possibly can nearly typically hear my smiles in how I am speaking, somebody as soon as stated, “Simply watch out to not smile when it is critical”, and truly it appears like doubtlessly a flippant level, however truly it is a actually vital one, as a result of some conversations, you should not be smiling, it is one thing that is difficult or confronting or it is a critical subject the place you make sequence choices. And I believe typically I address that seriousness by smiling. I believe I discover it reassuring and I would like different folks to smile at me, and doubtless simply because it makes me really feel higher. So, it is form of a necessity that I’ve. So, I believe it is beginning to consider, “When may you adapt your pure talking sample to enhance your presence?” Helen, I do know that typically you very deliberately attempt to decelerate, for instance. Helen Tupper: Yeah, so I had some teaching from a speech and drama coach to assist me be to a bit extra intentional concerning the phrases that I say and the way I say them, and that is significantly within the context of the work that Sarah and I do, we do a variety of workshops and classes, and I am pleased with my presence in these classes and my tempo and many the ways in which I speak, I am okay with that. However typically, we’ll be in a really completely different medium, like speaking on radio was a selected level. So, I really feel like with my presence, when my phrases and my bodily identification are aligned, ie you possibly can see me on a display and you’ll see my fingers, I really feel all of it works fairly properly; so my quick, pleasant, enjoyable factor, there’s various consistency within the phrases that I say and the way I present up on a display, for instance. However on a radio, all you hear is the phrases, and so I have never received that physique language to help what I am saying and the way in which I am saying it. So, I believe the way in which that you simply converse turns into much more vital, when folks simply hear your phrases. I believe different folks listening, you may assume, “Nicely, I do not speak on radio, why is that this related?” however you most likely do speak on Groups at work or on Zoom along with your digital camera off typically, and I believe that is the identical factor; persons are simply listening to your voice. I believe when that is all they have, that is all they’re taking in is the phrases that you simply’re saying and the way in which that you simply’re saying them, I believe being intentional about it’s actually vital. So, that exact speech coach taught me a great deal of issues to assist with pitch and pausing once I was speaking to extend my presence when folks cannot see me, there’s nothing else there for folks, apart from the phrases you converse and the way in which you say them. So, a few the issues I believe are vital are pausing. So, it is actually arduous to say “pause” after which not pause, however then not really feel dangerous at your self for not pausing! Anyway, I am going to simply transfer on, everybody. So, pausing is absolutely vital. What she taught me was she gave me a poem to learn and pressed voice report. So, I stated the poem simply the way in which you’ll usually, such as you’re in school, being like, “And on –” no matter, I am unable to even keep in mind what the poem was. However we simply recorded it, she was like, “Simply do it, do not strive too arduous, simply learn the poem”, so I learn the poem. Then she stated, “And now, on the finish of each full cease or line or comma, take a pause”. She was like, “Deal with the complete stops, the tip of the road, the commas and pause there”. She stated, “It is going to really feel actually bizarre, however do not actually concentrate on the phrases, concentrate on that second to pause”, after which she recorded me saying it once more. After which we listened again, and the poem with the pauses was a lot extra impactful, and I wasn’t truly even eager about the phrases, as a result of I used to be nearly simply in search of the complete stops and commas and ends of traces so I might put a pause in; and the phrases had a lot extra weight, and that’s the level with pausing. Should you’re like me, I’m not a pure pauser, as a result of I’m quick and pleasant, so I’ve to work fairly arduous at this and there are various kinds of pauses that you should use, which I do not know if this actually issues to be trustworthy, as a result of pauses are pauses, however you should use them in several methods. So for instance, a transition pause is the place you make one level after which transferring on to a different one. So it is nearly like you don’t need all these issues to run collectively. So, if I used to be speaking to Sarah about my week and I needed to make two factors about how efficient I assumed the group had been working and the way possibly I needed to do one thing completely different subsequent week, they’re two completely different factors, and so I want a pause so Sarah can breathe and know that I am making two distinct factors. There is a sense pause, which I believe is sort of like a breath in. Consider it as pausing the place a comma could be, and it simply helps folks to course of as a result of in case you say an excessive amount of too quick, it is arduous for folks to soak up, so that is the factor you are doing there. Dramatic pauses, so in case you’ve received a query or an enormous stat, some knowledge from the enterprise and also you actually need it to sink in, dramatic pauses are nice for that. After which one which I believe Sarah is superb at is the reflective pause. You are sensible at this, Sarah. So, Sarah will ask a coach-yourself query after which simply sit in silence. However you are so good at it and the silence is the area for folks to mirror and it is a actually assured factor to do and also you do do it actually naturally. However whether or not you utilize pauses, that is a really nuanced approach of pausing, however I believe the principle factor to consider is, pauses are highly effective and it offers your phrases weight. Sarah Ellis: Yeah, one of many issues that I do consciously do when it comes to dramatic pauses, which does sound very theatrical, so I do use dramatic pauses, significantly the place I wish to make an vital level. So, typically once I’m operating a workshop, you are discovering your circulation, I’d say one thing like, “And there is one factor that usually will get missed about this”, after which I am going to pause and it is nearly such as you’ve carried out barely the transition, however you’ve got signalled to anyone, “That is vital”. So I’d say, “One thing that usually will get missed”, or I am going to say, “An important factor to recollect is… that we have to…” That is typically the place I am making an attempt to summarise or actually make sure that I’ve given readability of, “Simply in case you’ve got missed something within the final couple of minutes”, the place you’ve got most likely been going a bit faster, I simply gradual myself down and add a pause in. I believe sadly, the one technique to understand how typically you pause is to report your self and I do know this normally feels actually uncomfortable. However in case you’re doing a gathering, for instance, that usually will get recorded, or in case you’re having a dialog that you simply really feel it might be okay to say, “May I simply report this, as a result of truly I am performing some work on my presence; I might love to only watch it again? Don’t be concerned, I am simply going to make use of it for my very own functions”, watching and listening to your self in a gathering or in a second, which I believe might be a bit simpler now giving how a lot we’re doing on Zoom or Groups, you’ll simply begin to realise, “Oh crikey, I by no means pause”, or simply how shortly you converse. Or that really, have you learnt what, possibly you are not giving your self credit score for a way successfully you already use pauses. Nevertheless it’s not an space the place we are likely to have naturally excessive self-awareness about. I believe typically, you’ve got to nearly neutrally hearken to your self, a bit like Helen describes as studying out a poem; or, you possibly can simply do a voice observe to your self after which pay attention again to it after which assume, “How a lot presence did I’ve in that voice observe? What improved my presence and what took it away?” Helen Tupper: And alongside pausing, the opposite factor you may wish to pay attention out for is your pitch. So, do you naturally speak at fairly a excessive pitch, in order that tends to point vitality and enthusiasm, so I’ve fairly a excessive pitch, for instance; or possibly a low pitch, which tends to be typically related extra with gravitas while you’ve received that decrease pitch. However I believe typically you do not wish to try this an excessive amount of, as a result of — what’s the girl that had that firm that — Sarah Ellis: Elizabeth…? Helen Tupper: Yeah, however everybody listening will know that girl, however she had a really, very low pitch, after which truly folks thought it was placed on quite a bit. I believe these items, the place they’re too excessive or too low, you do wish to be distinctive and completely different, however I do not assume you need it to be so odd that abruptly that detracts from the phrases that you’re saying. This must help the way you wish to come throughout and the content material of what you are truly saying about. You do not even need any of this to be a distraction. For instance, I believe typically as a result of my pitch and my tempo, so the velocity that you simply converse at, is usually fairly excessive and fairly quick, I do truly assume that may typically be too distracting, so I’ve to work arduous as a result of I do not wish to be identified for somebody who talks actually excessive and speaks actually quick. I wish to be identified for somebody who says stuff that is smart. And if the way in which that you simply say your phrases will get in the way in which of what you are making an attempt to say and talk, then it is not working properly for you, and I believe that is the purpose we’re making an attempt to get to. Sarah Ellis: I assume the chance there for Helen is that she might really feel a bit frantic and also you form of go, “Is that the affect you are making an attempt to make?” I believe it’s totally troublesome to, as we stated initially, you are not making an attempt them to be somebody you are not, so you are not going to abruptly change your tone, or pitch and tempo, dramatically. I believe once I’ve carried out work on this with folks and Helen and I’ve each frolicked with specialists who’re superb at this, it is typically small issues that you are able to do that simply make nearly incremental changes. I at all times take into consideration dialling it up or dialling it down. So, if I do wish to gradual myself down, if I am considering, “That is much less about smiliness and vitality, that is extra about I would like my phrases to have weight”, truly simply taking just a few deep breaths earlier than I speak, deliberately slowing myself down, even eager about how I sit, form of sitting along with your ft flat on the ground, sitting up straight, ensuring which you can venture; all of these issues gradual me down. Whereas then there’s my norm, the place I’d sit extra casually once I’m much less acutely aware of it. So, I believe that is nearly, know these small actions that may simply make alterations that really can have fairly a huge impact when it comes to your presence. Helen Tupper: Did I inform you concerning the speech coach and touching my toes; did I inform you about that? Sarah Ellis: No! Helen Tupper: So, if you’d like a small motion, all people, do that one out, most likely not within the workplace! So, the purpose was, when she was teaching me, while you get nervous, so you’ve got received a presentation arising, or my instance was talking on the radio, as a result of they principally go, “Simply sit right here for 2 minutes and Jane can be right here shortly” and it’s totally, very tense! However what occurs while you get nervous is your entire physique tenses, and so your vocal cords truly tense as properly; you get actually tense, all these muscle tissue. So, the pitch turns into increased unintentionally as a result of every part’s tightened. So for me, for somebody’s who’s making an attempt to decrease my pitch, my nerves truly create an issue, as a result of my physique’s working in opposition to me; it is getting actually tense and it is making it increased. And so, what you are alleged to do is, like say earlier than a presentation, or no matter, you are nervous about one thing the place you are going to be talking and this might doubtlessly occur, you bend over and contact your toes, or as shut as you will get to it relying on how versatile you’re, and you are taking some actually, actually deep breaths in. You are principally making an attempt to fill your lungs with air, you are making an attempt to make that little bit of you greater. Then, what you have to do is roll your physique up, however do not go too quick since you’re making an attempt to maintain the air in your lungs. After which while you converse, your voice is a lot decrease as a result of your lungs are greater, every part’s softened; it is like the alternative of the helium balloon factor! It is like the alternative of that. Instantly I did it and I used to be like, “Oh my gosh, what is that this voice?” simply since you’ve received extra air in there! Sarah Ellis: 4-box respiratory is my equal of that. That is what I imply, I do assume you want small hacks that be just right for you, and I knew that and I used to be additionally conscious that while you get nervous, you basically worsen. However they’re the moments typically the place you need essentially the most presence, so you’ve got form of received this contradiction that you simply’re making an attempt to beat. 4-box respiratory is the place you breathe in for 4, you maintain it for 4, you exhale for 4 and then you definately relaxation for 4. And then you definately may truly improve that to 6, six, six, six; eight, eight, eight, eight. However by actually slowing down your respiratory, you form of scale back the adrenalin that is coursing round, and also you’re simply focusing in your respiratory. It additionally makes you current and makes you are feeling calm and picked up. So, if that’s the way you’re making an attempt to come back throughout, and but you are actually nervous and also you’re prone to be possibly feeling a bit tense, maybe your physique begins to shut in on itself; all of these issues are then actually unhelpful for what you are making an attempt to realize. So, I’d say simply check out, and I’d additionally say, I at all times really feel a bit silly, since you’re doing one thing barely bizarre in your personal firm. You are like, “I am actually sitting right here respiratory to myself”. Helen Tupper: “I am touching my toes and inhaling and rolling up. That is very unusual!” Sarah Ellis: Yeah, “As a result of I’m a bit nervous about this factor”. So, I believe nearly recognising that firstly, the feelings round nerves and truly being excited are the identical, so how they really feel in our physique are the identical, and I keep in mind anyone telling me that and considering, “That is actually useful”. So, inform myself initially, “It is because I’m excited, it’s because I care, it’s because I wish to do a extremely good job”; not, “It is because I am nervous and I am not going to do a great job”, in order that’s fairly a helpful reframe in these moments. Then simply assume, “What will assist me?” Is it the touching your toes; is it the four-box respiratory; is it actually simply, I’ve my shoulders are available, if that is smart, once I’m both chilly or a bit nervous, I form of shut down. So, mine is actually a shoulder-roll backwards, as a result of naturally I’ve fairly good posture, which is beneficial for speaking. However typically I generally tend to come back in on myself, so actually two shoulder-rolls going backwards, I sit up straighter, my again will get straighter. Once more, you are opening up your chest, you possibly can talk a bit higher. So, these items really feel barely unusual, however I believe they do actually assist you to simply in these moments, significantly the high-pressure moments. So, again to our definition of, “Optimistic affect in a high-pressure second”, high-pressure moments, I believe we might simply do with some issues that just about assist to distract us possibly from the nerves, but additionally on the similar time assist with our presence. Helen Tupper: So, Sarah speaking about shoulder-rolls then and while you’re nervous, she form of closes in on herself, or simply chilly for instance, will get us onto the second space that we needed to concentrate on, which is the way in which that you simply current your self. And a part of it, I believe, is about that consciousness. So, Sarah, for instance, is aware of that about herself; if she’s nervous or chilly, that is going to occur, that is going to make her physique smaller, and it would make her come throughout to different folks in a approach that is not her intention. So, I believe the place to begin for all of that is, “How do you wish to come throughout?” If you are going to be acutely aware about your posture, you are going to create an impression along with your physique principally, I believe take into consideration what’s the impression that you really want? Do you wish to come throughout as critical; do you wish to come throughout as open or curious, as a result of if you wish to come throughout as curious, you are extra prone to lean in; if you wish to come throughout as open, you may use your fingers extra; if you wish to come throughout as authoritative, you may be sure you’re standing up. Not all of these issues are proper for the entire alternative ways you may wish to work. So you have to begin with, “How do I wish to come throughout?” Among the issues that I’ve learnt on this space are, I am a gesticulator, which appears like a humorous phrase to say, however principally I take advantage of my fingers so much once I’m speaking and once more, that could be a bit distracting. I actually realised this when Sarah and I had been doing occasions and folks would take pictures of you at occasions, like a photographer, not simply random folks, however a photographer, after which they’d ship you the photographs afterwards. I might be like, “Why is there no image of me simply standing nonetheless and smiling?” Sarah Ellis: You are at all times waving, aren’t you, in some methods?! Helen Tupper: I really feel like each image might have a caption the place somebody could possibly be like, “What’s Helen doing together with her fingers?” Sarah Ellis: A mime of some description, yeah! Helen Tupper: It is terrible! However I have a look at them and go, that is as a result of that sensible photographer couldn’t get an image of me when my fingers weren’t flapping round, and that is not nice! And what I used to be taught, however that is nonetheless a piece in progress, all people, is use your fingers to help your phrases. So for instance, if I am saying, “I’ve received three factors to make”, I ought to put three fingers up and be like, “Listed below are the factors”. Or, if I used to be speaking about, “We will transfer ahead”, I’d use my hand in a technique to point out transferring ahead. Or if I am saying, “And now we have come to a detailed”, I’d deliver my fingers collectively to shut them. That clearly takes apply, since you would wish to consider the phrases earlier than you stated them as a way to align it with the way in which that you simply’re utilizing your fingers. However I did assume that was attention-grabbing, in order that your fingers aren’t distracting. I’ve not mastered this, however I believe it is doubtlessly a great ability to grasp. Then one different factor, after which, Sarah, I am going to hand over in your high recommendations on place and posture, however one different factor I additionally learnt, from making a mistake, was I did this course years in the past, and so they had this negotiation train. So, they put us in a room and there have been eight of us, and we had been all given a little bit of paper with a task on it, so we had been alleged to be like a pretend enterprise; and somebody labored in operations, somebody labored in advertising, all that form of factor. I am unable to keep in mind what job I had, however you principally needed to negotiate for what was in your piece of paper. Everybody needed issues that would not be attainable, so it was that ability of negotiation. Anyway, it was recorded and afterwards, we needed to watch the recording again and provides suggestions on affect, presence, affect, all that form of stuff. And I realised, and so they’d carried out this deliberately, that one of many chairs was intentionally pumped down low; the hydraulics on a chair? Sarah Ellis: Yeah. Helen Tupper: They’d intentionally put one chair on the very lowest setting. And what occurred, you go right into a room, you sit on a chair; most individuals do not assume rather more than that. However while you watched the video again, what it appeared like was that my place in that room and my posture was affected by the peak of my chair. I appeared like a bit of woman. If I am trustworthy, I appeared again, I used to be actually low on the desk, I needed to actually transfer in bodily so much to make a degree, as a result of I wasn’t as bodily current as a lot as different folks, as a result of my chair was decrease. They principally stated, “While you go right into a room, at all times be sure you pump your chair up”. However once more, significantly in case you’re making an attempt to work on presence, you may not do that in each assembly, however I assumed it was that I used to be like, “I’d by no means actually take heed to that”. And my final level is, I believe it is the identical on a display. So, I believe we frequently come on display and we do not actually take into consideration the place we’re positioned on that display. So, in case you’re on Zoom and also you’re backside left or backside proper and your head’s probably not — you wish to have presence on display. So, you may simply wish to take into consideration, “Am I central to the display?” significantly in case you’re presenting. I believe this is able to take an excessive amount of vitality to do on a regular basis. Sarah Ellis: Yeah, it might be exhausting, would not it? Helen Tupper: Would not it? God, I do know, it might be tiring. But when there is a specific assembly the place you actually wish to be intentional about the way you’re coming throughout, you wish to have that optimistic affect in that high-pressure second that Sarah talked about, I do assume, in case you’re doing it just about, digital camera on in case you can, as a result of then your phrases and the way in which your physique’s speaking will assist you to, however take into consideration your positioning within the display; I believe it makes fairly an enormous distinction. Sarah Ellis: Nicely, anyone advised me fairly early in lockdown was what they did was, the place the digital camera is in your laptop computer? They actually put a Publish-it Word above it and it had a smiley face, nevertheless it stated, “Look right here”, as a result of so typically folks do not make eye contact in the proper place. And in numerous methods it is troublesome, since you’re additionally trying round your display, as a result of that is the place persons are in your display. So, as Helen stated, I do not assume that is on a regular basis, I am simply eager about, you’ve got received that presentation the place you are actually making an attempt to get one thing signed off, otherwise you’re spending time with some senior folks that you simply do wish to impress and have presence with, you most likely don’t need your eyes to be backside left of that display, or you don’t need your eyes to be wandering; that appears a bit complicated. And once more, the one factor you have to do right here is simply check. Simply report your self trying on the display. I’ve carried out it earlier than once I’ve been recording issues for Instagram or LinkedIn. I report it and I look again and I am like, “What am I taking a look at?” and I assumed I used to be taking a look at my cellphone, however I am simply not fairly trying in the proper place. So, I believe for these moments, I believe it’s fairly useful. And again to the chair factor, we’re speaking about chairs a bizarre quantity, I believe while you go right into a bodily room, if you’re making an attempt to have presence, simply take into consideration the place you sit in that room. That was some recommendation that I used to be given, the place I used to typically come into rooms and sit on the fringe of rooms, particularly as introvert, I fairly like being on the edge; it fits my character. However in some way additionally, you are not fairly as in it. So, in case you’re actually making an attempt to have presence, you wish to have affect, sit within the centre of that room, or actually take into consideration, for this dialog, “The place is the most effective level to put myself so that folks can see me and so they can have a look at me?” And truly I’m actually fairly acutely aware of that now. Even final evening, I went to fairly a small dinner with just a few individuals who additionally run corporations, and I simply know that I’m extra current — I did not must have presence in that, however I do know I am extra current and I am extra concerned in these conversations if I sit extra in it versus if I nearly choose out a bit of bit and go to the sides, which may be very a lot in my consolation zone. Then I simply know I will not study as a lot, I will not contribute as a lot. These are small issues and simply experiment with them, is what I’d say. I keep in mind somebody telling me that, about the place you sit in a gathering, and I used to be very dismissive. I used to be like, “No, that is not –” Helen Tupper: “It is a tactic, it is not that vital”. Sarah Ellis: “It is a tactic, it does not work, it is not that vital”, and I received a really good nudge and he or she was like, “Simply strive it”. It was so humorous, I did and I used to be like, “Have you learnt what, I did really feel in a different way”. It is all about how you are feeling. I felt in a different way in that assembly, and due to this fact I confirmed up in a extra optimistic approach. This isn’t about me making an attempt to do something to be somebody I am not, it is nearly there are specific moments the place I’ll assume, “Proper, I’ll very consciously simply think about right here how can presence work for me, as a result of I wish to have a optimistic affect as a result of I care about this work?” Helen Tupper: And so the very last thing that we will speak about is energy, and I simply wish to make a fast level on energy, not as a result of I believe it is not vital, nevertheless it’s most likely a podcast in itself. I imply, tell us if you’d like a podcast on energy at work. However within the context of your presence, energy does play a task. So historically, energy was fairly arduous. Energy was one thing that individuals who had been extra senior had. It is like guidelines and authority, command-and-control-type energy. Now within the office, now we have this factor which is extra about mushy energy. So, it is much less about coercing folks to do issues, and it is extra about co-opting them, influencing them, to a unique sort of energy. And mushy energy is absolutely about how persons are drawn to do what you desire to them to do. So, it is convincing them, bringing them alongside; they wish to do what you need them to do. So, arduous energy is, “I advised you what I would like you to do”, and mushy energy is, “There’s one thing that I am doing, a perception that I am creating, an attraction that I’ve that makes you wish to do what I’d need you to do”. Now clearly, it is a actually large subject, it truly is, however energy is vital. Together with your presence and your speaking, you are making an attempt to doubtlessly persuade folks about one thing, possibly there is a venture that you simply wish to get began or a funds, or no matter it’s, a selected level you are making an attempt to get throughout. So, it is price eager about what have you ever received that would create that energy at work? Generally it is content material, so some folks have an experience in an space and that is fairly highly effective as a result of persons are like, “I wish to do what Helen’s saying, as a result of I do know that she’s the skilled right here”, so possibly that is the place your energy relies, in content material and experience. Generally it is context, extra your expertise than your experience. It is extra like, “She’s carried out this for a very long time, she is aware of how, she’s carried out this earlier than, she’s been by redundancies and restructures”, or no matter it’s, “She’s began up companies”, so it is extra the expertise that offers you energy, and folks consider in you and wish to do what you are saying as a result of that is what you are bringing to them. Generally, there’s this factor round connection energy, which I believe is attention-grabbing. So, you’ve got received energy as a result of folks; that is what connection energy is. And that is why you’ve presence, as a result of you possibly can speak about different folks and different relationships and also you deliver these folks into conversations, and that creates an affect in folks’s minds, that you’re a individual that is aware of folks and due to this fact, that is why I consider in what you are saying. So, it is simply price eager about energy performs a task in presence positively. Is your energy grounded in your content material, so your experience; your context, so extra of expertise; or connection, is it extra about folks, are you that folks particular person and does that create energy? So, simply one thing to mirror on as a result of it does play a little bit of a task. Sarah Ellis: And simply on that context one, you do not must be skilled to deliver helpful experiences. So, you could be one yr into your profession listening to this and you have got a extremely good perception into what that appears like. Your context is, you are actually near what it is wish to be new into the office; or, you’ve got received fresh-eyes suggestions when it comes to the work that you simply’re doing in your prospects. So, this doesn’t suggest that, “I must be actually –” I believe this might really feel a bit intimidating in case you’re a bit earlier in your profession, since you may assume, “I am not an skilled but and I am probably not skilled”, and possibly you’ve got not fairly received the connections. However keep in mind, all of us have some form of energy. And I believe typically in case you’re earlier in your profession, you’ve got received that context of, you’re in your viewers, so that you perceive the folks you are attempting to promote to raised than anybody else in that room. I used to be considering again to, if this had been me 15 years in the past and also you’re desperately making an attempt to have presence early in your profession as a result of possibly you’ve got not received the seniority, you are the least senior particular person within the room, and I used to be most likely by no means the skilled, I am extra the skilled now than I’ve ever been, I would not have had the connections, however I used to be good on the context. And I believe that was as a result of I used to be curious. I believe I used to be bringing curiosity, I used to be curious and I understood who we had been making an attempt to speak to and what we making an attempt to do. I used to be the closest of anybody in that room. I believe it was having the boldness to say, “I’ve spoken to our prospects [or] I’ve spoken to a few of our different colleagues and I am actually making an attempt to offer you that sense of I perceive what they want or why we should always try this” as a result of in any other case, I believe this concept of energy might really feel a bit arduous in case you’re in these earlier phases of your profession. Helen Tupper: I agree, and if you want us to dive extra deeply into energy on the podcast, electronic mail us, tell us. It is helenandsarah@squigglycareers.com. However hopefully you’ve discovered that helpful. I believe it is a actually attention-grabbing subject, as a result of I really feel like everybody’s received some form of work to do right here. We’re at all times work in progress, however on this specific level I believe there’s numerous issues which you can experiment with. It is nearly, be playful with presence a bit of bit. Possibly select among the low-pressure moments to experiment along with your presence, so that you have the abilities that you simply want within the high-pressure moments. And I believe it’s fairly enjoyable, whether or not you are touching your toes or sitting on chairs in several rooms. That is stuff you possibly can experiment with, it is enjoyable! However we’ll summarise all of this within the PodSheet, and you will get that on amazingif.com. It is also what we ship out each week in PodMail. So, we’ll put the hyperlinks as a way to join that on the present notes. So, in case you’re on Apple, simply click on on the outline and you will find the hyperlinks there. However electronic mail us in case you ever cannot discover something and we’ll get you what you want. Sarah Ellis: So, thanks all a lot for listening. We at all times actually admire you giving us your time. We hope we have been useful and we’re again with you once more quickly. Bye for now. Helen Tupper: Bye all people.